Saturday 25 April 2009

Guess work can only take you so far.

If I were to give you a task, say, baking a cake, you would most probably be scratching your head. Bake a cake? Me? I don't even know how to turn on the oven. But you give it a go nonetheless. A simple chocolate cake. After all, the end product is something edible and hopefully won't poison me.

Would you like it if I gave you a picture of a chocolate cake and asked you to come up with something similar to it in terms of taste and look? Wait, scrap that something similar bit. I want you to come up with a chocolate cake that looks exactly to the picture in terms of taste and look. How's about that?

What the fucking fuck?!

Would you like it if I gave you something to do but with nary a guide or a pointer, would you like it? You'd probably lambaste me to kingdom come! You really don't care, eh? You really think of me as a lackey boy, always ready to be whipped on the behind just when things go awry? So what if the cake doesn't look like yours, hell, you think I'm the kind of person who does half-bake jobs? (Pardon the pun.)

You then blame me for not asking you how to do it when in the first place you were the one who was supposed to provide me with at least the basic directions. You want my help yet you don't even know how to be courteous enough by giving me tips. This is worse than being selfish; this is plain insidious.

At the end of the day, I just don't have the same ingredients as you, my chocolate is probably not as good as yours. You could be using freaking Godiva while here I am using RM2.00 Cadbury chocolate that's a month shy of expiring.

So what we have here now is a chocolate cake that resembles yours but still isn't quite right. Is it my fault? Maybe. Maybe I should've bugged you to death to help me but I know you. You don't give a shit until shit hits the ceiling.

Do not ever mistake my smile as benignity.

I might just do something really unfortunate to you.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I am going to deadlift 80kgs this week, damnit!

3 comments:

Lisan said...

Cheers! :)

Angie Tan said...

LOL!!!

Man, deadlifting 80kg... That is bound to scare that bugger off. ;-)

Chris said...

Lisan: :-p. Jahat you.

Angie: I tried doing it about 2 weeks ago but the bar was so damn slippery I only managed 2 reps. 2 shitty reps, to be exact. This time I'm gonna bring my straps just in case. Callouses be damned!