Saturday, 24 April 2010

None but my own.

The grass is greener on the other side.

This obviously does not apply to the Wembley pitch.

When I left the joyful halls of D, I left because I knew I wasn't going where I needed to be. Where I had to be. My career was stalled. Confidence at an all-time low. Sanity diminishing day by day. Going home was a torture, depression manifesting itself in the form dancing rabbits, wielding pink batons (okay, I lie). More work came (something I loathed utterly but am now grateful for) and my friends were moving forward so that added pressure to my already pressured state of mind.

But a light came. It was a lifeline. I pounced on it like a lion on impala (not the most eloquent of proses but do bear with me). When I got the confirmation that my nightmare in D was coming to an end it brought massive relief. The great burden was lifted. Though, a wave of sadness came about: I was going to leave D and its people. It wasn't so bad at first but the last weeks there was really something. Leaving the position was easy, it was the people that proved difficult a task. I think I've said it before but I'll say it again: the people of D are the best. 

Fast forward to the first day at the new place and it went pretty well. The team was nice and friendly though they were really, really quiet and kept to themselves. Finally, I thought to myself, here I am embarking on a journey that will pave the way for my ultimate goal: to be super rich and be the boss of my boss. The work came in chunks and they needed to be done fast. A flurry of emails were sent out, work got done, I went back home happy.

For the first month, that is.

The next two became stale and insipid. I would surf the web for hours on end. I asked for work or tutorials on the environment I was supporting but the guys on the higher level were far too busy with their work. The lustre was fading and so was my enthusiasm. I kept telling myself that I need to get through this, it will be worth it, my dream will come true. But I was lonely there. Lunch time was spent staring into my screen trying to do any work that came in. Then, the call came.

I know leaving NA would blemish my reputation somewhat. After all, I was only there less than 3 months. It was a hard decision; if I had stayed it would have taken a year or so to see results. But the new place offered me something I craved: leadership. It's something I excel at and wish to further enhance. So another leap of faith was taken.

Am now about to enter my third week and, blimey, has the work come in droves. I've been in more meetings, concalls, discussions and whatnots than my last 2 positions combined. The team I work with is chattier and livelier while my boss actually views my opinions and thoughts very seriously. He also has given me free reign over certain areas which is something I'm truly grateful for. While I'm the only one in my field I reckon I will move forward much faster in terms of management and technical skills.

Exciting times are ahead. I won't lie and say I'm not worried about the future. I'm scared shitless, actually. I'm doing things I've never done before and I've a responsibility far bigger than I initially thought. But I'm going with all guns blazing. Wish me luck, guys.

The grass is surely looking to be greener here.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Take that, Spurs!

Friday, 16 April 2010

Friends fighting with friends ain't nice.


The dictionary puts "friend" as: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile. 

I bet a lot of you view a "friend" as someone you can borrow money from. Or get them to cover up for you when you go down to get the newspaper.

It is not a nice feeling to be fighting with someone. The pain intensifies when you are close friends to each other. Fights can make you think, what the hell? am I really friends with that person? Fights will make you think of all the bad things, sometimes blinding your judgement of right and wrong.Then, you realise, what the fuck just happened? You curse yourself, wishing it would have been different. But it happened, too bad, so live with it. Learn from it. In a way, a fight (tiff, arguement, misunderstanding or whatever you want to call it) can lead to better times.

The journey is painful, as it should be, but at the end of it is with hope that an empathic resolution can be achieved. All for the sake of peace and all the good things that happened. When all is said and done friends will be there for you. Just as you are for them. Friendship that's meaningful should never be taken for granted. Cherish it.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Being the only person in the world handling issues is an absolutely scary thought.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Date Night sounds better than training your dragon.

To be honest, I didn't expect much from the two movies. How to Train Your Dragon is your typical coming of age movie where not quite developed Viking boy becomes the talk of the mountaintop after learning the ways of training (read: enslaving) dragons. Turns out dragons make good pets. But I recommend watching it for the CGI and effects. Absolutely top-notch. Way better than Clash of the Tits. Titans. Oops.

But it's Date Night that surprised me the most. It won't set your world on fire, no, but if you're in a relationship or you're married, this is a partnership that doesn't have any cracks in it. It's nice to watch a couple who know where they are yet still yearn to do more--in this case--their marriage. Tina Fey and Steve Carell have good chemistry, though, I get the feeling they're just reprising their famous roles from 30 Rock and The Office respectively. I also liked that they still manage to find fun, the juvenile type, and not pretend to fit in.

You hear too many stories of cheating spouses and you think, what the fuck went wrong? I can only hope my own future wife and I will have a life together that's filled with fun and laughter.

Minus people chasing us with guns for stealing a reservation.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: For some reason only known by 10 different kinds of dragons, for the life of me, I couldn't finish what I initially set forth to write. Writer's block? I guess so. Darn.

Saturday, 3 April 2010

What? It's April already?

As I was stuck in yet another traffic snarl, my mind wandered to things. Good things. This weekend will be awesome, chiefly, because my family and I will be celebrating my aunt's birthday, something we've not done in aeons. My next thought veered to the trip I have to another continent in October (massive yeah!) with my woman. Profanities are let loose as a moronic driver suddenly cuts in front of me. I start thinking of all the birthday celebrations, weddings, and whatnot, I'll be able to attend to since I've decided to tone down my parsimonious ways. My sister tells me she'll have busy times as well right to the end of the month. Then, it hit me.

It's already April.

As I recalled the last three months, I must say, it has been rather lacklustre. There have been ups and downs, though, thus far, the downs win. Yet again I am unable to say with a straight face that I am happy with my current position. What began with a whirlwind 250km/h ride is now an insipid 1km/h walk. What the hell happened? I wish I knew. The promises of endless work fizzled and for hours on end I was left to my own devices. To keep my sanity intact, I had to train myself lest I forget what I've learned. They say, no rest for the wicked, but this wicked has been rested for too long.

But enough of the ennui and vagaries of work, let's move on! To where, though? Besides the aforementioned trip in October, I have nothing in the works. There isn't any plan of a plan. Can you believe it? Me, Mr Planner, has nothing up his sleeveless shirt? Well, from now on, it's carpe diem. Ad-hoc Man is here.

What the hell am I rambling about?

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Rooney, come back quick!