Monday, 29 December 2008

2009 better be kind to me.

Ho, ho, ho!

How's everyone been? Man, I'm still so stuffed from stuffing my face from the last five days, I feel like a bloated octopus with my tentacles wrapped around a big pipe.


Anyways, Christmas was good. Took my little cousins out and it must be said that seeing them with their big smiles made the absatively horrid traffic jams seem a breeze. ('cept for one stretch where we got stuck for about 10 minutes, moving centimetre by centimetre very painfully slow, and with the sun blazing it sort of baked my legs.) Since my own childhood wasn't exactly the rosiest, this is the best I can do to make up time for all the non-happenings during those bleak years. And I now banish any notion that I was a heavy eater back when I was the village pudgy boy. My cousins ate more and faster than I ever did when I was their age. And they're like friggin' sticks! That talk back! Argh!

It must be said that the commercialisation of Christmas and other religious celebrations has become something so big that the other races have joined in the fun to cash in the bonanza. Heck, the other races are more excited than those who actually celebrate their respective celebration. Take my office for example: the Christians in my office were generally laidback leading up to Christmas, while most regarded Christmas as a welcome break from the exigencies of work. But my Big Boss, a staunch Buddhist, was the merriest of us all; he played Christmas carols, old Christmas ditties to even techno versions. I've never heard Little Drummer Boy with so much bass in my life.

In less than a month's time, the Chinese will celebrate their New Year. The cycle will repeat itself again. I'll take my family out again, get stuck in traffic jams and smile all the way. Because being with the family beats being in the office, tinkering away at systems and diagnostics and such.

The new year is fast approaching and as I leave 2008, I can't help but wonder, how the hell did I survive all the shit and nastiness of it all? But I'm also grateful that I managed to get through all the muck and grit, and in the end, emerged (rather scathed, I must say) with invaluable experience and wisdom.

Here's to a fruitful and less migraine-inducing 2009. Have a good week ahead!

This Chris, signing off.

PS: Happy New Year to all!

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Dear Santa, I've been a good boy. So where's my new job?

Wazzzzzzzzzzzup, me peeps!

Oright, oright. I've just downed some pretty unsavoury tasting organic oats, all of which were done in the effort of being healthier, so pardon my rather uncharacteristic opening line.

Hate to say this, but time sure does fly,eh? Especially when the last 3 months or so have been the most interesting out of the entire year. Good and bad happened, along with the really bad so it's only natural that I look back at it all and think to myself, how the hell did I survive all that shit? Seriously, how did I end up writing this when not long ago I had murder bloody murder coursing through my veins?

I exaggerate, but you get my drift, yes? Work's been going down the crapper ever since people started becoming more and more greedy, selfish and downright lazy. And that's just the people I don't have any direct work with. They'll get what they deserve, that's for sure. Cupid's been shooting his arrows at everyone around me except, of course, me. The git. Life, in general, has been like the months when the stock market went cuckoo; lots of downs but there were a few bailouts in between. However, I'm hoping and having my fingers crossed long enough before osteoporosis sets in, that 2009 won't be as bleak like how the world's economy and wellbeing is when the new year arrives.

But let's get into something more salubrious, for instance, my 2008 resolution list!
  1. To be a better person.
  2. Enjoy life with family and friends.
  3. Work hard and play harder.
  4. Save the planet. One plastic bottle at a time.
  5. See Dream Theater in concert.
  1. Still a work in progress.
  2. Still a work in progress. Haha!
  3. Still a work in progress. Hahaha!
  4. Still a work in progress. Hahahaha!
  5. Done! Saw one of my favourite bands live in concert on the 17th of January this year. It was one of the best days of my life, EVER.
In all seriousness, this year has been absolutely topsy turvy. If you've kept up with the recent posts, you'd know what I mean exactly. I can honestly say that I've grown up a lot this year. I'm still the bumbling buffoon but with one big difference:

I look cool. Oh, so damn cool. Tee hee!

Anyways, since 2009 isn't that too far off, (mmm, Christmas chicken, mmm...) I might as well come up with my resolution list. Here goes:
  1. Get a better job.
  2. Be a much better person.
  3. See another band in concert. Preferably here. Singapore is expensive.
  4. Go on holiday.
  5. Get back to playing guitar.
  6. Improving my (still rather rubbish) Chinese language skills.
  7. Get a better job. Hmm, didn't I mention that already?
I guess that's about it. To everyone, regardless if you celebrate it or not, have a very blessed and Merry Christmas. Don't eat too much turkey, now.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: This is definitely not the last post of 2008, so be sure to check back next week for the last one!

Monday, 15 December 2008

Crisis? What cri$i$?

I love shopping.

But I also hate it, not shopping, per se, but the other people who are in the vicinity as I when I shop, 'cept for the cute girls at the lin...I mean, food courts. By the way, has anyone else noticed that our food courts are becoming more and more, um, shiny? The majority of the food still sucks, that's no different, but have you been into one lately? They're really sparkly!

It really amazes me that while governments are busy trying to bailout their respective catastrophes, the people, at least over here, are nonchalant about it. Practically oblivious to the fact that if their government doesn't react fast enough, they'll be the first to suffer its effects. And then they'll moan and groan, cursing at the government and the leaders, why? WHY MUST I SUFFER? Ooo, chocolate doughnut. Yum.

I reckon that most are dimwits. Wake up! Whatever that is being fed into your sorry excuse for a mind should always be taken a with a pinch of salt. (A small one, yeah.) Believe not everything you see on the idiot box...

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Christmas shopping still ongoing. Gonna get me a new pair of trousers! Tee hee!
PPS: BUSH, you da man for ducking the shoe attack!

Monday, 8 December 2008

I so want to go to Egypt.

I'm just so thrilled right now.

Yes, it's a moody Monday morning. The sky opened up in the wee hour that was 4 a.m. Sleep should be good. Then, the sound of an alarm could be heard. Lookie, it's 615 a.m. While most are still probably in their comfy beds, clutching their pink bolsters, I'm here in the office. The friggin' office. On a public holiday.


Anyhow, I reckon I might as well do some "work" (hehehehe) and earn me some extra $. And since I have all the time in the world, I might as well do this rather interesting meme that has been bequeathed to me by Angie.

Pretending to do work, FTW!

Do the “Letter MEME”. Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the “How-to” Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I’m sure you’re ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I’m returning ___8___ to you, but I’ll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

-Your name-

Basically just fill in the blanks on top based on the answers you are gonna choose below. ( I will put my result at the bottom of this entry =) )

1. What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’ll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn’t match
Grey - You’re a pervert
Yellow - I’m selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You’re a loser
Other - I’m in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women’s clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What’s the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What’s the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United’s goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I’ve felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn’t exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we’re cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I’m allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I’m open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I’ve felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David’s tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B -
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain

Here goes! (Yes, I'm a lazy basturd, I just copied and pasted everything from Angie, even the colours!)

Dear Lia, (the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you I think I realized it first of May, in your closet and I saw you ignore my fart balloon. I’m sure you’re scared enough to understand that I did a sex-change (teh lolz!). I’m returning your Darth Vader poster to you, but I’ll keep your oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget the apartment building.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,

Nice! Of course, I wanted to put in the more "expressive" answers, but that would constitute cheating. So I played it true and I'm pleased with the results. Won't tag anyone in particular, just anyone who wants to have a good laugh doing this.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: And thanks to Angie once again for reminding me of this site, Setanta. Holy laughing daemons, this has been the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Really. It really has helped me in the last week, making me laugh as opposed to wanting to bash people with my office mug because, you know...

I'm fantastic. Ha!