This is what really happened:
- The first month was awesome. Total freedom!
- The second month was getting kind of boring. Oh well, bring on the hula hoops and let’s party!
- The third month—the month that I’m in exactly a year ago—enough’s enough! I need a JOB!
Fast forward a little and bam, I got my first taste of the working world. After nearly five months of mind-numbing bumming, I and my good friend, Fill, landed ourselves a job! And what better way than to start it off by having a pretty lady as our future boss as well. The job seemed simple enough: call up people, get them to buy the damned land and bam! ka-ching! I left after one day.
Not too long ago, I mentioned that I had landed myself a job. It was similar to my first experience: call up people, get them to sign up for the damned thing and bam! ka-ching-a-ching! I left after two weeks.
I didn’t despair, in fact, I had a backup. It promised an experience like no other. I was gung-ho and I knew I had to nail the interview otherwise I’d be bumming once again. I did. I felt fantastic. On the day the second interview came I was anxious as heck. Normally I would be calm and collected but seeing a dozen or so other candidates there made my heart beat fast and hard. Damn! I have to really nail this! And when the interviewer unveiled what I was supposed to do, what I will have to do once I got accepted, left me flabbergasted and disappointed. I was mortified to the point of wanting to just walk away from it. She did mention sales but she didn’t say it would be this!
This is what sales can do to a person who utterly abhors it.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve said it before that sales and salespeople are everywhere, in many forms and is a must for the world to keep on spinning lest Al Gore decides to lose some weight. I respect it greatly and those who commit themselves to it. But for the life of me, the more I delve into the nether regions of it, the more I feel like jumping off a bridge for trying it again and again. You’d think people would learn from this kind of fault but not me. In fact, I’m actually contemplating about accepting the damn position! Any sane person would fuck it, I want no more of this shit. But not me. I’m a sucker for pain and punishment.
Honestly, I have not a clue about what I really want to do. I thought I thought I knew it but the reality is sinking in faster than you can say cuckoo. And you know what’s the most painful thing of all? Thinking I’m actually good, that I’m better some people because I have the look and the voice for certain jobs but the hurtful truth always punches me in the stomach.
Maybe I need to loosen or even break my comfort zone. After all, if you’ve never tried something, how are you to know it‘ll be bad or good? But after being bitten, dragged, ravaged, flogged twice by the sales bug, I should know better, right?
I hope I’ll make the right decision. Wish me luck.
This is Chris, signing off.
PS: I’m being all emo aren’t I? Fuck. I hate this feeling.
8 comments:
I sort of know how you feel. My diploma's ending soon, and every day there's someone that asks me either (a) what will you be doing for your practical training or (b) where will you go/what will you do for your degree?
Hell if I know!! I want to yell. But I don't, and they keep asking. I went into KDU thinking journalism was it. 2 years later, I'm lost and unsure. I haven't ruled out anything, haven't chosen anything, heck I'm too scared to even Google any universities cause I don't want to decide.
Its a bitch of a time. So you have every right to be emo. I want to say you'll know soon, but looks like we'll both have to find that out together. Now I have to go be depressed. Later.
Join the WMO, Chris. I think that's what I got accused of.
I'm in the same position, job-wise. Or maybe not the same, but close: I'm in a job that I thought is what I trained to do. So either (a) it's not or (b) I don't really want to do what I trained to do. Bad place to be.
Add that to my other issues at the moment, and yeah, I'm in a bad way. Still breathing, though, and trying to smile. I just thought I'd share that because, hey, misery loves company, and I think you'll find that if you can only find the courage to make the change, you'll be happier. And if you find it, please, please tell me where so I can do it too!
Have you done it yet, Chris? Go on, you can admit it to us. This self loathing angsty EMO post was accompanied by a fresh purchase of a white studded belt and a family pack of black eyeliner, wasn't it? Thank you for not playing Fall Out Boy on your blog to coincide with your inner EMO. My daughters have tortured me endlessly with their FOB CD they got for Christmas.
You're young, what's wrong with following the counsel of Huey Lewis and "takin what you're given cuz you're workin for a livin?" You work now to feed and clothe yourself and save up for that new TOOL bumper sticker you've been eyeing, but meanwhile you're getting valuable insight and work experience while you make a decision of what course you want the cruise ship of your life to follow. It's all G-DOUBLE OO-D GOOD! You don't have any little mini-Christos to support or a high maintenance beauty queen wife......yet. So that allows you the freedom to experiment with careers. My husband has worked many crap jobs and at 35 is just now about to embark on something that he desires to do and is really good at. At 23, he almost had completed his engineering degree. He decided that wasn't what he enjoyed and now he's finishing an accounting degree. As long as you're still living you can change and alter and punctuate your own destiny, man.
Syar: I went to APIIT and by the time second year came I knew this wasn't the thing for me. So, I know exactly how you feel. For me, I stayed because money had been spent and to leave would've been suicide.
Lia: I called the lady this afternoon and told her I didn't want the job. For a moment I detected a tinge of disappointment in her voice. She offered me a month's probation but to be in sales for the third time is pretty silly given my past experiences. I'm no more miserable (thank the Gods), a bit happier but I'm still confused. I will have to make a change and I'll definitely tell you where I got it from.
Lady Elastic: If someone had played an FOB song during my period of grave desponency they would have suffered my full wroth (sorry Syar). I actually felt better after reading what you're husband went through. It must have not been an easy decision to make. Better late than never, right?
I really want that Tool bumper sticker though.
First off, here's a hug and a bar of chocolate. I know hugs work wonders, but since chocolate is a girl's choice for comfort food, it might be different with you. But I hope it suffices.
Second, I think you should give yourself a little more credit. It takes a strong character to be able to admit that type of situation. And when you're taking your first dip into the working world, things do seem a little displaced and a tad distorted. There is a lot of 'what if's and 'oops'-es. I think what you went through was not just risk taking (I personally think you were taking risks by realizing what you enjoy and what you don't enjoy in work and doing something about) but also realizing what you want in your life. You don't want to settle for less. I think that's another reason why people tend to be picky.
I hope this is the right job for you. Whatever it is, you'll emerge better person with a better knowledge of what you are capable of being. =)
S'okay. I love FOB, but your "wroth" sounds creepy.
Good for you, Chris! Hearty approval for turning down a job you don't want. Save yourself the pain in advance.
I made someone feel better while mocking their love of TOOL simultaneously. YAY! My job here is done, y'all.
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