Of popcorn,soft drinks and Arabians...

Ah,the cinema.The only true way of watching a movie nowadays.Gone are the days of watching pirated VCDS,the jerky camera shots,the horrible sound quality where i can hear some old lady eating popcorn with her mouth wide open and of course,watching it on a tiny screen(at least for me though).Instead,i go to the cinema and guess what?I get even more pissed at the cinema!

The minute i step into the designated cinema,the foreboding sense of pissed offness creeps in.Firstly,i the seats.They're small.I'm a big boy.I have large thighs courtesy of my days as a former lard tub.Then the arm rests are damaged and in some cases even missing.What the hell?How in the world can it be damaged?Or worse,missing?Did a disgruntled movie goer destroy the arm rest in frustration because his/her popcorn was not corny enough?Mind boggling.

Next up,the ads.Some are funny like the currently being-played-in-cinemas-now-ad Jennifer Aniston one for Heineken,she looks pretty there for some strange reason.hmm.Some of it are so bad,i don't want to remember(actually i really don't remember)AND I REALLY THOSE BUGGERS WHO LAUGH AT THE MAXIS AD WHERE THEY ASK YOU TO BE MORE COURTEOUS WHEN IN THE CINEMA BUT IN THE MINUTE OR SO,THEY'RE HANDPHONE GOES OFF AND THEY YACK AND YACK FOR THE WHOLE CINEMA TO HEAR,GODDAMN BUNCH OF HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLES!!!! Phew....

As much as we tout that are cinemas are quite advanced.It's all a bunch of lies.People skins are yellow or blacker according to the race of course,the sound system is ear drum unfriendly,it's either way too much bass or too much treble and the seats are just terrrible!!I already mentioned the seats haven't I?Hmm....

But overall the thrill and excitement of catching a movie in the cinema is unrivalled,especially if you're going with a bunch of friends.I particularly love it when after the movie,we will enact some of the scenes again which usually are superbly hilarious.I'm being modest here too.*hehehe*

And here's a big tip: NEVER EVER SIT NEAR ARABIANS OR BETTER YET,GET OUT OF THE CINEMA IF YOU SEE THEM.They will translate the entire movie in their own language,to their family members whose command of the English language is limited to,"Where's the lamb?",WHILE THE FRIGGING MOVIE IS STILL BEING RUNNING.And better yet,they'll even yell if there's action scenes.Yep,nothing like a gun fight peppered with some Arabian yelling "Kebab!" at the same time.Great fun!!!

Oh well,can't wait for Aliens vs Predator.It looks cool.Hopefully as an Alien is tearing a Predator into pieces,i won't hear someone saying,"I love camels!" or i'll be pissed.Extremely pissed.