Just when you thought I would shut up about stories about the damn gym, here comes part 3 of my now never-ending tales from the gym. Told ya so that I had something up this week. Tee hee!
Onwards, to the gym!
Of chicken meat and chicken legs. The ones I don’t eat.
Some guys have built tops with some impressive and sculpted, urm, tops. But then, when you look down, you’ll see some of the skinniest legs only ugly models would have if they were anorexic. I kid you not! There’s this particular shorty, let’s call him Mr. Horrendous, who has arms bigger than my thighs. And I’m a big guy while he’s about the height of Miley Cyrus. He loves wearing sleeveless tees to expose his overly developed torso. Then when you get to the lower part of the body, you might burst out laughing right away at the sorry state of his chopsticks for legs. To me, if you’re going to workout only the top portion of your body, then you might as well chop off your legs and give them amputees. Honestly, seeing a guy lift a 30kg dumbbell above his head is impressive but he’s absolutely puny when it comes to leg presses of about 60kgs. (My leg presses are now done using 120kg weights. I do them 8-12 times.)
Actually, I hate you more.
As most of you know (actually it should be should know) is that I generally dislike people. The ones that I like are either related to me (even then, I may hate you, just not that much) or have unwittingly allowed their soon to be sorry selves to call me a friend. But I reserve special spite for the Middle-Easterners. Yes, I know this may stir up some controversy. Heck, I might even get thrown into some jail without any sunlight for the next 60 days. Yes, I know that not all Middle-Easterners are greedy, rude, ignoramuses. But what the heck, I hate them! The ones that go to my gym think themselves as gods, or worse, the second coming of Governator Arnold.
We’re all vain. Serious!
What do people who go to the gym have in common besides smelling like horses after working out for 5 minutes? We’re all vain buggers. Yes, you heard me right, please don’t throw that dumbbell. Hear me out first, will you? All right. Why would anyone want to spend their time in a gym, sweat with a hundred other people and then exposing your bum in the locker room? Why would you want to potentially cause great embarrassment to yourself by picking up weights and then dropping them on your toes? Why do people get on the treadmill with their arms flailing all over the place? I’ll tell you why:
We’re narcissistic, vainglorious and we’d like to wear that nice shirt to the wedding of our best mate who’s gone to seed. Actually, we’re shy people with low self-esteem so we’re compensating. Ha, take that Mr. Horrendous!
I think I better stop lest I get a show cause letter, or worse, my blog gets banned for causing inflammatory remarks. After all, no one likes to be called Horrendous, right?
This is Chris, signing off.
PS: Kudos to Liverpool for finally beating Manchester United, though, I must say that Man United actually helped your cause, so…..PFFFFFFFFT! Ryan Giggs, you make me sad. And so do you, the current power mongers of my country.
Onwards, to the gym!
Of chicken meat and chicken legs. The ones I don’t eat.
Some guys have built tops with some impressive and sculpted, urm, tops. But then, when you look down, you’ll see some of the skinniest legs only ugly models would have if they were anorexic. I kid you not! There’s this particular shorty, let’s call him Mr. Horrendous, who has arms bigger than my thighs. And I’m a big guy while he’s about the height of Miley Cyrus. He loves wearing sleeveless tees to expose his overly developed torso. Then when you get to the lower part of the body, you might burst out laughing right away at the sorry state of his chopsticks for legs. To me, if you’re going to workout only the top portion of your body, then you might as well chop off your legs and give them amputees. Honestly, seeing a guy lift a 30kg dumbbell above his head is impressive but he’s absolutely puny when it comes to leg presses of about 60kgs. (My leg presses are now done using 120kg weights. I do them 8-12 times.)
Actually, I hate you more.
As most of you know (actually it should be should know) is that I generally dislike people. The ones that I like are either related to me (even then, I may hate you, just not that much) or have unwittingly allowed their soon to be sorry selves to call me a friend. But I reserve special spite for the Middle-Easterners. Yes, I know this may stir up some controversy. Heck, I might even get thrown into some jail without any sunlight for the next 60 days. Yes, I know that not all Middle-Easterners are greedy, rude, ignoramuses. But what the heck, I hate them! The ones that go to my gym think themselves as gods, or worse, the second coming of Governator Arnold.
We’re all vain. Serious!
What do people who go to the gym have in common besides smelling like horses after working out for 5 minutes? We’re all vain buggers. Yes, you heard me right, please don’t throw that dumbbell. Hear me out first, will you? All right. Why would anyone want to spend their time in a gym, sweat with a hundred other people and then exposing your bum in the locker room? Why would you want to potentially cause great embarrassment to yourself by picking up weights and then dropping them on your toes? Why do people get on the treadmill with their arms flailing all over the place? I’ll tell you why:
We’re narcissistic, vainglorious and we’d like to wear that nice shirt to the wedding of our best mate who’s gone to seed. Actually, we’re shy people with low self-esteem so we’re compensating. Ha, take that Mr. Horrendous!
I think I better stop lest I get a show cause letter, or worse, my blog gets banned for causing inflammatory remarks. After all, no one likes to be called Horrendous, right?
This is Chris, signing off.
PS: Kudos to Liverpool for finally beating Manchester United, though, I must say that Man United actually helped your cause, so…..PFFFFFFFFT! Ryan Giggs, you make me sad. And so do you, the current power mongers of my country.
1 comment:
LOL... There are all different types in the gyms.
Why do I notice theses types of characters when I head down to the 1U franchise of the gym I'm a member of...
Oh yeah, I noticed the Mr. Horrendous types who happen to be youngsters - kids who just about finish puberty and probably aged 16-18. :D
Hahahaa... As for MU. I can only hope and pray for this weekend.
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