With my last post being an exercise in extreme abhorrence and basically a direct middle-finger to all hypocritical establishments and individuals, I’ve decided to tone things down a notch. Or two. I can’t count. Anyway, I would like to share with you fine people the third thing I can’t leave my house without. (The first is my brain and the second is, um, I forgot.)
My handkerchief.
I’ve always carried with me a handkerchief for as long I can remember. My mom would make sure I would bring one as I tended to sweat like a certain porky animal. In kindergarten, the others kids also brought their handkerchiefs, and no, we didn’t compare designs. It was normal and it still is, though, I must say that I have seen kids with face towels. Now that’s progress. I carried this habit well onto my years in college where I graduated from using old-man styled handkerchiefs to slightly more contemporary cotton hankies.
My brief tenure as a salesguy came up with this rather strange conversation:
Me wiping my hands with my handkerchief.
Colleague 1: Eh, I haven’t seen a fella carry a hanky in a long time.
Colleague 2: (he turned and looked at me) You gay, ah?
Colleague 1: Normally, only old fellas will carry one, right?
Colleague 2: Ya lor. You old man, ah?
Me: Go to hell.
I proceeded to bash them senseless and to add insult to injury, I wiped their blood with, yep, and you guessed it, my little pink hanky.
Okay, okay. I didn’t exactly bash them senseless. What I did do was to tell them that hey, so what if I have a handkerchief? You use your hand to wipe your mouth after eating. Don’t give me grief when you’ve been giving me yours in abundance.
You would to think that a guy in Slayer t-shirt doesn’t know much about personal hygiene but look again. I use my handkerchief to wipe sweat, um, more sweat and sometimes sauce on my cheek.
I hope that when I have a kid or two, (I still can’t count) this legacy of mine would be passed down to them. It’s a good legacy, don't you think so? You see, we all are sometimes guilty of negligence when it comes to hygiene and general cleanliness. When the urge becomes uncontrollable and unavoidable, my hand will act like a good stopper of sneezes and coughs whenever I am unable to reach for my dear handkerchief. Mercifully, I am mindful of the fact that there could be audience who may have seen me. It is precisely at this moment I shall whip out my beloved handkerchief. But most of the time I just wipe my hand on my pants.
So there you have it. A post where I don’t curse and swear and threaten to lop heads of idiots who cross me. Tata! *waves a little pink hanky...*
PS: I wonder if Rihanna wants me to write her next hit. The first draft of the lyrics is as follows:
I will wipe your sweat with my hand…ker…chief…chiefchief…chiefchiefchiefchief...
PPS: This is the oddest site dedicated to—what else?—handkerchiefs.
11 comments:
I have no problem with your carrying a handkercheif, but why is it pink? What's the matter with that old standby, white?
Actually, though, I've always wondered how sanitary they are. You blow your nose and then you put it back in your pocket, allowing germs to make their way permanently into your wardrobe. Ew! Also, you can't put it down on the train seat to protect you from whatever the previous person spilled.
I carry tissues. And yes, they're biodegradeable. I'm LEED accredited, after all.
Oops! What's with me today?
I before E, I know, I know.
Hey Chris, how do you get a hanky to dance? blow a little boogie into it
lol u always had a feminine side chris. dah lah bawak hanky sana sini, pink pulak tu. tsk tsk.
Hey, I like guys that bring around handkerchiefs. It makes me think of chivalrous gentlemen that'll wipe it out should I feel the urge to weep silently or if I cut my finger on the buttons of my corset (or something) and needed a makeshift old-fashioned band-aid.
Your colleagues are dumbasses.
Your song for Rihanna, though. GENIUS!
Lia: Pink is the new white for guys like me. And I was slightly dumbfounded by your observation. Astute but it made me kind of think twice whenever I wiped sauce from my mouth with my handkerchief and then putting it back in my pocket. Darn.
Jean Knee: I actually laughed at that joke. I shall use it but I wonder how many would get it...
M: The feminine side of me doesn't get enough attention. I think this is apt.
Syar: I like to think I keep chivalry alive. Though I must say, if a damsel in distress were to blow massive boogers into my little hanky, she can keep it. I have more.
Jean - A First Daughter fan? And there I thought I was the only person to have ever seen that movie. An experience I could have done without.
Jean Knee just told my kids all-time favorite joke. Well, next to the one about 'The Captain's Log!'
You need to bring a bandana now that you're a man, chris. Just make sure it's not in gang colors. Maybe I'll send you a very special and versatile Smiling Infidel bandana/hanky/headband/do rag/emergency toilet paper
Sweat And Sweat Got It going Like A Turbo Vette
My dad has a handkerchief in his pocket as well. I never really knew what it was for. I never saw him use and the only time I saw it come out was when I was either crying and I had no tissue or need to blow my nose and again, had no tissue.
I personally don't feel that carrying a handkerchief is girly because I have seen my dad do it for a long time. Personally, I prefer tissues (because I prefer to dispose of whatever thing I use it for.. hm.. seems like I am contradicting your environmentally aware post).
Just wondering, when we last met up, you took out your hanky, right? I had a feeling I commented on it.. I can't remember. =P
Hope you're well! =D
I, of course, a newcomer to this blog, but the author does not agree
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