Service with a smile? Pfft. It’s a myth I tell you.

As I was walking into my favourite coffeehouse, I was greeted by the pretty employee with her hair tied up neatly and on her head was a cap slightly bigger than her body. For a moment I thought she was the most beautiful creature ever. I was immediately taken aback, her smile and that voice of hers when she said sublimely, “Hello Sir! May I take your order?” left me enthralled. For the first time in my life someone actually called me “Sir” even though I was obviously a pugnacious and unscrupulous looking boy of 17. I’m now 22 and I still look pugnacious and unscrupulous as ever. Heck I still find it odd when someone calls me “Sir”.

Walk into anywhere these days and you’ll be greeted with pleasant salutations, sometimes it’ll come from all four corners of the world that it can be quite giddying if you’ve been accustomed to solemn stares and unhappy mutterings of “Hello”. What has been the norm in western countries is now becoming something of great significance here.

Of course, I’ve had my fair share of ignominy from supposed customer service. For some strange reason I’ve been given the cold shoulder many a time just because I was dressed like a tauke (minus the singlet and the unbelievably tight shorts). I didn’t display my armpit hair to them. I wasn’t rude to them in any way. Since they equate three-quarter pants and a plain tee as a country bumpkin, they took to treat me with 3rd rate service. Without the smile naturally. It’s not that I want to be treated like a king but I sure as heck don’t want to be treated like a court jester either.

I know there are customers from Hell. I wholeheartedly agree that these people should be given a lesson in humility and learn to eat humble pie as part of their daily diet. Of course the moment when a tourist comes in through the door, every one drops what they’re holding and blitzes to help him. All one can make out from the hubbub is the happy faces and the loud boisterous belly laughs reverberating as our people treat the tourist like he was the saviour of mankind. All of this fawning for them foreigners is commonplace and so is the snubbing the minute they see a fellow countryman.

What irks me so much is that people tend to associate customer service with saying “Thank You”, “Please come again!” etc. This is utter bollocks. I remember once I was kept waiting for my order that in the end I didn’t have the strength (or the pissed-offness) left to complain. Not because I wasn’t thoroughly satisfied with the service itself, but it was more of the attitude and the way in which I was treated. But when I was down south, I was profusely apologised to even though I had only waited for about a minute or so.

It’s so easy to compare each other but it’s so hard to acknowledge the imperfections.

I for one don’t see a renaissance for Malaysian customer service. Not in the near future that is or during my lifetime. It ultimately boils down to education. Not from the teachers in school but from the parents. If the parents do not teach their children to say “Thank You” and “Please” the minute that they are able to speak then no amount of common sense in that child will make them say it when they’re older.

Being polite doesn’t mean shit if you’re not polite in the first place.

Chris is signing off. For now la, haiya…

PS: I don’t expect to be treated like royalty but it’ll be nice once in a while. After all, the customer is always right.