Call me Chrisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Nope, I have not turned into a can of 100Plus (I despise carbonated drinks but for the purpose of this post, I drank an isotonic drink instead) of which my gas is now seeping out into the atmosphere. The sibilant title refers to the reptile fair (the fair was housed in an enclosed area the size of a decent sized bedroom) that I accidentally stumbled upon when I was on my way buying buns. The clincher was the fact that they had not one, but two anacondas. Yes, those same snakes that tried to terrify J.Lo into wearing something less bootylicious were on display.

I’ve always been a nature lover (okay, maybe liker is a better word); I attribute my animal knowledge to the various National Geographic documentaries and countless other animal-related stuff that I watched near religiously when I was a wee lad. This was way before anyone heard of the word Crikey and that thought animals were beautiful Sheilas even when said animals were 20-foot long crocodiles.

Saw a King Cobra albeit a small one. As long as a nice sausage. Looked pretty harmless, but then again, they’re harmless when they’re not dangerous (Captain Obvious!). Then I saw another King Cobra. This was no small fry, this was effing big. While the smaller one looked like a docile noodle, this one was a 16-foot long muthafugga. Coming face to face with a deadly creature separated only by a glass wall an inch or so thick, makes you feel safe but just barely. A single bite would’ve left me dead in half an hour. As I was about to walk away, all of a sudden, it raised its body and out came its fabled hood. My sister and I were immediately taken aback. It seems that the caretaker inadvertently shook its enclosure, thus the cobra felt threatened and assumed its stance.

Note to self: Never, ever, provoke a King Cobra. Never.

Then there was this tiny cobra. The caretaker, a laidback chap with a penchant of blowing his cigarette smoke into my face, then opened the tiny cobra’s box and dropped a small, cute mouse. Nothing happened. The mouse literally ran circles over the cobra. Obviously this particular reptile is stupid. Sensing that the audience (my mom and I) wanted to see some action, the caretaker nudged the mouse closer to the snake and only then it started to make a move. And boy did it make its move. Like a scene from a Sir David Attenborough (minus the droll) documentary, the cobra struck the mouse with lightning speed. The mouse dropped dead in 2 seconds. 3 seconds earlier it was alive but now it is dead.

The death of the mouse got me thinking about 7how life can be so easily snuffed out. Especially when you have the power. Humans are—let’s be fair now—pathetic; we require weapons in order for us to decimate Mother Earth and her creatures. Then there are cases in which humans are treated far worse than one could imagine. The recent Josef Fritzl case comes to mind. The man is an animal but calling him that would be disrespectful. The man is a monster. Frankly, humans (I use the term lightly) like him do not, I repeat, DO NOT, deserve to live another day. People are suffering all over the world, most recently, the people of Myanmar, and here is this old man, still breathing.

Alas, the power to eradicate scum lies only with a far superior being than all of us. I believe justice shall prevail. It just sucks when justice comes late.

I want my buns now.

PS: Finally watched Iron Man and while I thought it’s a bajillion miles better than the entire Spider-Man series (I enjoyed number 2 a lot but it’s child’s play compared to this) I’m only going to give this a solid 6/10. Robert Downey Jr. is Tony Stark/Iron Man. The flying part where he tries to evade two F-22s was simply awesome. Gwyneth Paltrow, looked amazing and this is coming from a non-fan. Until now.

PPS: CHAMPIONS!