Friday 7 July 2006

Rockstar: Supernova = SuperBLEH

Oh my. Oh my dear, dear Rock Gods. The ignominy of having self professed 'Rockers' butchering, maiming and ultimately shaming, the purity that is Rock. Never have I heard such horrid vocals. The first Rockstar was rock solid (pun so intended). It had the likes of Jordis, Ty, Deanna (the most rocking babe of them all) and of course, Marty Casey and JD Fortune who took the show to whole new heights.

Performance after performance, I cringed and sighed and wished that someone, anybody, would save me from my aural hell. Thankfully, came this South African hobbit chick, Dilana, who saved me from the assault of mediocrity. Her rendition of that Nirvana song left me smiling and wiping a tear because it was so darn good. Then came the other hobbit chick, me forgets the name, but she was as equally good as the South African, though with much better *ahem* merchandise. ALL the men were abysmal save for one who sounded like a slightly less nasally Gavin DeGraw. And even then that wasn't 'real' rock.

And what about Supernova themselves? I don't care about the guitarist even though he was in the monstrous machine that was Guns & Roses while Tommy Lee looks like an old man trying to look young. Jason Newsted who in my opinion, is the most criminally underrated bassist in metal and rock today, is erratic in his comments and is strangely rather restrained here. Dave Navarro is of course, the prettiest man to ever exist. Brooke Burke is as interesting as mint molasses still provides the eye candy.

I for one, really and sincerely hope that this boring and disappointing line-up will surprise me. Because if they don't, I'll be forced to watch GASP! Rock Unite!

Chris is signing off. For now...

PS: I really like that Storm Large (yes, it's her real name). She's pretty and has pipes to go with it though it was one dimensional. Ah ha.

9 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Oh christo, You're reinforcing male stereotypes all over the place here. So, a female contestant has to be smokin hot as well as talented while the men can coast by on just talent alone?

Tommy Lee is only good for a few porn movie style laughs these days because his music typically blows. What happened to the rock'rap fusion group he started a few years ago? Yeah. Like that hasn't been done before. Lincoln Park, P.O.D, in a sea of imitators.

Chris said...

LOL (I'm not much of a fan of LOL but heh...). All right, I'll admit it, when it comes to women, especially in rock, I tend to be tremendously bias simply because they're either trying to be like the next Janis Joplin or Pat Benatar, real rocking women who still are the archetype. They're the ones who made rock for women cool. These girls are merely trying to pout and gyrate suggestively their way into the hearts (and other body parts) of the public.

So don't get me wrong, I truly believe in an egalitarian society, but man, rock is a man's game. Women are highly welcomed to enjoy and their luck. :)

PS: I'm being a sexist aren't I? Maybe it's because France lost to Italy! Argh!

Syar said...

glad I decided to miss out on that. the whole basis put me off the moment the words : tommy lee came to my ears. then I just u-turned the hell away from that show.

I miss jordis.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I just watched a biopic of Abraham Lincoln and have that spelling etched in my mind. Crap, I meant LINKIN PARK.

Chris said...

Elastic: I liked Linkin Park back in the day when I was a wee lad. I thought they were so cool. Thank God I grew out of them AND the abomination that is rap rock and its other bastard siblings.

Syar: If I'm not mistaken, Jordis is coming out with her own album. I'm quite looking forward to it even though she did butcher a couple of songs during her stint.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

It took me awhile to think of some rocker chicks. What about The Donnas? Lita Ford and her heavy metal affair back in the 80's? L7, even though I think they broke up?

You're right though, not a portly, pimply chick among them. Just lots of eyeliner and studded collars.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

OOH! I thought of another one. What about HOLE? They really rocked back in the day.

I heard a funny commercial for the alternative music station. "From Hooters to Hole; we expose everything".

Chris said...

Hole had a few decent songs. Before Courtney decided to become nuttier than an entire asylum. I did have a crush on the bassist, while skinny as heck, was really sweet and pretty. Ahh, juvenile memories.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I found out that front runner, Dalina, is a Houston hometowner, and that she stunned the crowds last week with her Nirvana cover, and got an encore demand. She still scares the piss out of me everytime I look at her though. A little bit of piercings and tats go a long way, you know.