Hate makes the world go round.

Don't you just love a clear blue sky? Minus the stifling heat of now, of course. But, what's this? Yet another person, nay, idiot, bumped into me without uttering an apology for doing so. When I turn around, I know why. He's one of those idiots in sneakers, wears a cap the wrong way and is from a race generally known for the laziness and stupidity.

Oops, did I say the wrong thing?

Look, I hate everybody and anyone. So when someone accuses me of being a racist, I'll just pfft right at their cheeks. We all hate each other. If not hate, we distrust. Usually such unbridled ennui is because of someone's colour of their skin. It's a natural feeling. Even the nicest people I know, some of them polite and lovely on the outside, harbour deep resentment towards certain quarters.

And these are just the guys.

Racism in Malaysia is still alive and well, my friend. If a friend says they've been to here and there and have experience something bad our first reaction would be to say, "who was this terrible person?" and whence told, you'll say, "ah, thought so." We have preconceived notions about certain races that when we are regaled tales of good deeds we'd be aghast that it isn't what we've known.

It is not confined to just to other races, it even happens within one's own race. I should know; if it was a crime, I'm guilty. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. It just is. It's not like I sit down I come up with derogatory terms and jot it down on my Post-it note on my fridge.

Oh, the horror stories of what this race is and isn't have been told from generation to generation but does anybody try to tackle the "issue"? For starters, it isn't an issue, it just is. It's a fact of life. We whine and bitch about it till the cows have gone to another kampung but nothing happens. Because people don't really give a damn even though they're more than willing to share a whole sundry list of gripes. So why do we even bother?

Whining and bitching brings catharsis, that's why.

I've been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty racist comments. I doubt it won't happen again. Life goes on. Being a racist isn't a choice, it's already chosen you.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Alice in Wonderland was so-so. Bring on Clash of the Titans!

At least I don't have to wear that funky suit.

The steps taken are small, light and nary a sound. Heat? Unbearable. Imagine seeing your skin peeled, no, flayed before your eyes. Ironic that it's burn-proof material. My breaths are short and reek that is my own mouth is starting to nauseate me. But I cannot not be 100% focused. I just can't. I reach for the garbage strewn all over the ground and push them away. Colourful wires connected to a device that could blow me and the neighbourhood  to smithereens sat there ominously as though I was dared to cut them one by one.

I do.

Sweat is running down my face, the salty taste a reminder that I need a drink later. My earpiece crackles, I hear a command issued to me to get my ass back right this instant. As I'm walking back to the Humvee, I see hands waving at me. The visor limits my visibility considerably and so I walk faster. Another crackle and command yells at me, telling me that there's a suspicious-looking guy with what looks to be a remote detonator and that they can't get a good shot as the guy is running too fast. My heart is pounding so fast I think I might explode. I run as fast as I can in this godforsaken suit. 100 yards later and a mushroom cloud erupts behind me, throwing my body like a rag doll. While the blast echoes in my ears, deafening me and my cry, darkness takes over and the last thing I see is the scorching sun and smoke...

That's how I would imagine being a bomb expert. While I reckon The Hurt Locker and my current position are miles apart, I can relate to its stress, without the threat of loss of life, naturally. One tiny mistake, a miscalculation, even pressing the button that may or not determine the next second of your life, all that I can relate to. Sure, the drama and the high-tension are nowhere the level of such, however, the events of the past few weeks could be summed up with the above description. 

An explosion of the senses and mind.

This is not the first time I have kicked a fuss about my job but the past few weeks have been rough, to put it softly (do you see the pun?). If I had an out-of-body experience I'd try to kick my corporeal ass myself. Is this the path that will lead to greatness? I surely hope so, otherwise a 30-year-old me is going to be sorely disappointed (but, hopefully, wealthy). It also doesn't help that the old workplace also misses me. It was such a beautiful time. I truly miss it.

Just like how you will never forget your first love; you will never forget where your career took off*.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: The Hurt Locker was all right. Yes, just all right.

* - Only, that the first real job I had happens to be the best place where one can be. If you're planning to loaf about immeasurably, watch countless Youtube videos and having the best lunches ever then the old workplace is the place for you.

R.I.P Gurshan Singh

It's funny how you think that your life sucks after a hard week at work and then you read something like this.

The world you know it just got a little bit more violent and less happy. 

R.I.P little guy.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Godspeed to the family of Gurshan Singh. Justice shall prevail.

Rudeness and decorum are like jelly beans. You never know what you're going to get.

Kids these days are a clever bunch. Take my little cousins; they are not bratty in the sense that they do not roll on the floor when they don't get their favourite toys nor do they scream and shot like some primate not sucking on teat. They are, however, savvy in certain areas and are quite logical in their thinking. They've also developed a rather strong pecuniary sense as evident in their refusal in lending me 10 cents.

The little blighters.

But the best part about them? They're not rude. I can tolerate to a certain extent some rudeness but when you cross the line, you will be reprimanded and admonished. Sure, there have been times where they have answered me in a brusque manner but it wasn't out of spite. It's just their character and how they have been brought up.

Growing up, I was told to say my Thank You's and to respect elders. Failing to do so would have resulted in ears being turned the opposite direction and not allowed to revert back till after dinner. My father was adamant that we were polite to others and displayed civility at all times. Any antics would be punishable by some of, well, punishment. Of course, at that time, it wasn't fun at all as I needed to project to constantly be on my best behaviour whenever Dad was around, especially if we were in the company of his fellows. But I guess all that has done a lot to me now. I open doors for women and men alike, (though, strangely enough, I never let people cross the road when I'm driving, instead I'll speed up hoping for the idiots to jump out of my way) you know. 

The working world is prime example of how diverse (and downright shitty) people can be*. You get to meet and work with people who have little to no bedside manners, are indignant in the face of work (these are usually the mofos who are constantly bitching and yammering they have so much work but are just lying custards who surf all day and are on the phone), shameless sycophantic to the bosses, and the list goes on. Why are these people the way they are? Weren't they loved? Did they get their teddybears yanked away by the school bully? Why are they such a pain in the proverbial behind? And why do they end up getting the promotion I wanted?!

People are shaped by their upbringing, no doubt about that (I've mentioned something similar to this in another post, but I'm lazy to trudge through the archives) but there are several instances that do not conform to that. I know some people who are the nicest bunch you could ever ask for with devil spawn for children. I swear, if I had a holy rotan (rattan, cane, whip, you get the point) I'd unleash it upon them, smiting them righteously while gleefully giggling. 

But that's life for you. To those who are smug and cocky and conniving and who have attained high positions through crooked means, good for you. And for those who are good and nice and polite, well, time to change!

This is Chris, signing off. Politely.

PS: I can be rude when I want to, yes sirree. But I choose not to. Because I'm nice. Provided you treat me nice.

* = At first I wanted to put college world but then I remembered that everyone in college were either trying hard to impress or trying to be the dorkiest. I succeeded in both. Quite superbly, thank you very much.

I love you means nothing.

It's as though the Brits are competing with the Yanks. But this time, I think the Yanks win this. Well, one Yank, anyway. 

We all know what Tiger Woods did. Only a person stuck in a very spacious and cozy cave would not know. And if you're a football fan, you'd also know the infidelities of at least two footballers. What they did is utterly shameful and further demonstrates the immoralities of people who have it all. Their arrogance led them to believe that their secret liaisons and hush-hush affairs would not go unnoticed let alone condemned when found out. But do they deserve to be publicly humiliated and flogged in the open by the media and every gossip-hungry auntie with a bad perm? No. I don't think they do. They do, however, deserve to be humiliated and flogged (metaphorically, naturally) by their family and friends but most especially by their partners (in the above cases, wives).

Hypocrisy go together in this sordid tale. These illustrious public figures have been fettered with various non-sporting awards to go with their chosen fields and some of it must surely draw at least reddened cheeks upon those who bestowed them in the first place. Awards such as, Best Dad and whatnot, have been given to these supposedly good dads when maybe just minutes before they got the award they'd have a quickie in the store room. These men would then go up on stage and put on the biggest and most insincere smile on the planet and proudly admitting that, yeah, I'm a great dad. How did they do it with nary a hint of remorse? Maybe they bit their lip but that could be just a sign of too much lip balm. 

Would I forgive if my future wife did it to me? The answer is a resounding no. Though, that's what is most likely to happen but I will only know if and when it ever happens to me, which, I hope it never does. Some people would say turn the other cheek, do what Jesus would do. To them, I'll say, I am not Jesus. And slap their cheeks*.

"I love you" never meant a thing if you've never felt it.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I finally watched Tiger Woods' televised apology. By jove, it was one of the most robotic, unconvincing and rehearsed act I've ever seen. 

* - Gently, of course.

Arrows, hearts and oranges. Which of these don't match?

No long post from me. Just a simple wish of a blessed and pleasant Chinese New Year to all my friends and family. Remember to toss that yee sang higher than a tall building.

And to that special someone, Happy Valentine's Day.

Be nice.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: What? You actually thought this is going to be short post? Puh-leez! Well, the way I see it, Chinese New Year has become less about the celebration but more of an obligation. and another reason to parade one's latest Coach acquisition (by the way, Coach is becoming far too common as every Afro-haired auntie has one thus sullying its exclusivity somewhat). I see it with the rest of the major celebrations. Heck, Christmas is no longer about the birth of Christ, but how much wine and terrible fruit cake one can consume in a single dinner. Since Valentine's Day also falls on the same day as the first day of the lunar new year, it somehow has received precedence as every nook and cranny of the shopping centre I'm so fortunate to have below my work building has sprung a jewellery shop of some kind touting "Best Deals in Town!" when, really, their deals are crap. Nothing says love like a RM100,000 bracelet that looks like lint from your bellybutton.

Have a great holiday, my lovely bunions!

When mouth is quicker than mind, you're screwed.

You know that feeling you get when you've said or done something you really meant for 5 seconds but you're now regretting it?

Welcome to regret.

Most of you know that I don't believe in regrets as it makes the mind dwell on unpleasant things when you could be relaxing on the beach with bikini-clad women running up and down the beach. But sometimes I wished I never did or I should've done things in a different way. It's happened to me many a time and it will happen again.

Human behaviour is such that we cannot never fathom the true feelings of someone even if you know the person like the back of your pretty hand. It's just not possible, the most is 99% accuracy because that remaining 1% can either make it or break it.

The mind is wondrous thing, a truly mysterious and magnificent thing. But when your mouth is quicker than your mind can process thoughts, you're screwed.

This is Chris, signing off.

P.S: This post was written in one of my foul moods quite awhile ago. The event that triggered this is long forgotten. 

P.P.S: Never bottoms-up 5 glasses of red wine. Just don't.

1 down, 11 more.

The end of this month is nigh and it sure as heck couldn't come any quicker. 2010 sure has been a lacklustre year thus far, aye? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just you. Oh, well.

Quick recap this year: new job, new surroundings (well, I've been to the place many a time but never as an employed personnel), new faces and, of course, new expenses (!). So far, the new place has been pretty good; have learnt new things in my first 4 weeks than I did at the old place. Even made a booboo, too (try saying that fast, I dare you).

The office: it's so quiet here it's as though work makes everyone silent like a little lamb. People are generally friendly and will give you a small smile that says "yes, you're cute". Work-load is still hit-and-miss, sometimes busy, sometimes freer than a free bird. It'll take me six months or so to learn the ropes of this place fully but I hope to do it in less than time so that I can get promoted and then move on to another place, woohoo! All right, that last sentence is crazy talk but I'm sitting here in the office* wishing it was Christmas and naked Santarinas are bobbing up and down. It's also colourless; very drabby and grim hues surround me. In a nutshell, I've come here to work. Mingling is a way distant second.

The work place: not to be confused with my office place, the place where I work is terribly dull, yet another shopping centre catered to the masses. Whilst KLCC had some "soul", here in Gardens it's all plastic and sterile. But if there's one good thing is that it's a lot more convenient as I can get groceries and such at decent prices, which, as you all know gets a big smile from me.

The people: as I've said, they're friendly and generally will talk to you if you talk to them first. Team-mates are good and very helpful. But I reckon it is only for now because I'm still quite new to the environment. Also, I'm helping to mentor two new girls. They're fresh from the oven and have not worked before. Me, teacher? Why, yes!

Significant things that happened in January:

• Learnt to drive at a much slower pace than I never imagined to save on petrol cost.
• Watched a movie in a Gold class cinema. (Huhu, my wallet is thin now.)
• I've become more organised and structured in my work. (I hope.)
• I've become a mentor! (If you know me well, you would know that I am the king of analogies. I believe analogies make memorising things, especially dreary subjects, a lot easier. I just hope the two girls remember what I've said, though!)
• I'm actually looking forward to working. GASP!

What February would bring:

• More work.
• More work
• More work
• Great time with the family during Chinese New Year
• Valentine's Day special...GASP!!! More on this when it happens.

How has your January been? Good, I hope. As always, stay beautiful and see you next week!

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I want a mace that can twirl twirl one!

* - Well, I started writing in the office.

Legion, Haiti and Gold Class. What do they have in common?

The line was longer than a mile-long snake. As I looked at my watch to check the time, I knew that any longer a wait will make me miss any chance of getting a good seat (or any) so I made a decision.

Gold class it is.

To be honest, I had forgotten how much the price of a single ticket was. The girl at the counter reminded me and then some. After I had booked two tickets. Come show time, me and my girl went into the cinema which could hold less than 40 people and were instantly struck by the coldness. The seats were huge and had swallowed her whole. While the movie Legion was playing I could not help but wonder, how the hell did this happen? The cost could've fed me 2 weeks worth of lunches. And to think there are people willing to pay such prices every week! Crazy! Paying such lucrative prices had its advantages, though; less idiots, zero potential for seat shaking (if it ever happens I would've flipped because there was so much leg room!) and the aforementioned comfortable seats. She and I agreed that this will be a treat and that only the "good" movies shall be enjoyed in such manner. Fun as it may sound to you and me but here we are throwing silly money when there are parts of the world fighting to survive.

We all know what has happened to Haiti and its people. Probably because every Z-list American celebrity and non-stars are shoving pleas of please help Haiti when they themselves are still shopping at Coach and Armani looking at bags that could feed an entire village for some time. Hope for Haiti sounds like a noble institution, doesn't it? It's a sham and most of the celebrities who took part in it were looking to promote their wares. Why the fuck go about on the phone asking normal people who earn normal salaries to donate their normally-earned money when you the bloody celebrity who gets an obscene amount of cash to be in front of cameras can donate more? Why don't they just shut up and donate a significant amount each? Singing won't bring food or medical aid, no, actually going there to give them such items does. The power of music  is undeniable, I stand by that statement with arms wide open, but in this case it's just a way of getting attention so that people will buy the artist's next album. By the way, pledging and will are two very different things, corporations please take note.

Legion was interesting. Well, the interesting parts were interesting but overall it was a mess. Convoluted and not well-thought out, it falls flat in delivering its, I reckon so, message that we're all fucking up this world of ours. I won't get into much detail because I'm lazy and writing film reviews should be left to this man but I'll add my 2 cents: watch this movie if you want to have a nice time and you want to forget about work. If you're looking for good-versus-evil type of intellectualism please read Nietzsche or Calvin and Hobbes.

It's funny that the people of Haiti and so many like them are thanking God that they're alive when their lives have been destroyed and turned into despair. I wonder who their dead relatives are sending their thanks to?

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Old women with vampiric teeth crawling on the ceiling and spewing profanity after profanity is actually pretty darn freaky.

Men are pussies.

Sweat trickled from my face and unto the floor, creating a small puddle. The smell in the gym was musty and faintly reeked of cabbage. I had set the weight on the floor, slowly catching my breath and psyching myself for the lift. As I was about to lift the two 50-pounder dumbbells, I heard a cry. Not a cry for help, no, but a cry that sounded like a mixture of pain and a dog whimpering. I looked up, trying to locate the human who emitted the cry. I could see a small group of men surrounding this middle-aged man. He was panting, grunting and telling his friends that he could not do another repetition. But his friends would have none of that and kept urging him "one more time, champ!" A snort was let loose, a small derisive chuckle, too. With all his might, the man tried one more time and out came the loudest cry of all. Everybody stopped dead in their tracks (interestingly enough, only 3 women fell off their treadmills) and stretched their necks to see what had happened. The old man laid on his back, face buried in his hands and pleading for no more.

A downright sissy, he was!

Truth be told, men are pussies. They swagger and they holler like they're some big time charlie but when told to lift a weight they'll drop on their knees, begging for the nightmare to stop when it hasn't even begun yet! I see this all the time in the gym, the posing and the look of utter arrogance and Nike gloves protecting their baby-smooth hands from the rigours of lifting 5-pounders. It's odd to note that these must weave a tale whenever they're amongst their mates. There's this one old man in the gym that is clearly an attention whore and yelps whenever he feels a yelp is necessary. Retard.

But this self-emasculating doesn't happen in the gym, it also happens everywhere. You see guys with upturn collars and sunglasses in shopping centres and you for sure that he's a douchebag (if you're one of them and you're reading this, you're a douchebag). Inferiority complex is alive and well, my friends, and it's in the form of clumsy attire and even clumsier behaviour. Having their egos bashed in is not something jerks want to happen but once in a while a good kicking to the groin (not literal!) would shake things up a little. Especially those who pontificate or are preachy bastards with charisma only like-minded snakes can only tolerate. 

Yet, the douchebags go up in life yet the honest joes get the short end of the proverbial stick. Life's fair? Pfft, not in this plane of existence. If the Big Guy above has plans for all honest people, I would love to know.

I guess there's an ultimate plan for all of us. But I'll be damned if I don't achieve what I want.

This is Chris, signing off. 

PS: Is it just me or has this year's January been a slow month?

Life's a piece of cake. Unfortunately, this particular piece is durian-flavoured.

Hey guys and gals!

How are my favourite people doing? Good, I hope. While the country slowly descends into a pot of ignorant and degenerative species of special-minded stupidity, it is with unbridled enthusiasm of wanting to do good things this year is what is driving you and me to achieve greatness.

I have successfully Dr. Phil-ed myself.

What a week it has been. Let me tell you, if I thought I had it easy, I did. I so fucking did. It's like I jumped from one burning house to another one. But have I told you that this new burning house is about the size of Singapore? Yes, sirree, it is. But to call it a burning house would be demeaning to my employers. No, it's not a burning house, but I am certainly ablaze, around the toes, thankfully. I won't go into exact details, though, I will say this: when you've not been given a mouse due to nonavailability of stock on hand, you know you're in a no-nonsense office (hmm, actually, I have no clue what I've just said). This shows how people work, and work these people do. A lot. I've never been in an environment so dedicated in the pursuit of finishing a task. Sure, there's the occasional guffaw and a scream or two but it's nowhere was I had the last time.

I'm slowly liking it a lot.

Of course, it's far too early days to give you a definitive take on my new environs but I've good vibes. Here's to good things for you and me. If things look a little bleak, just look out the window. There might be rainbow smiling at you.

Or some crazy mafaker with a knife.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: What the hell happened to sanity and all things good on Friday? What a bunch of goddamn shits!

PPS: Here's my review of Avatar. Enjoy.

And in another 10 years I'll be 36. Whoopee!

Happy 2010!

Raise your hand if you thought the celebrations were a little on the quiet side. In fact, some of it was quite a drab. Funny isn't it? I would have thought that since this is a new decade people would go apeshit and usher it with much aplomb and plenty of excitement.

I didn't feel shit.

I guess people were a) too damn drunk from Christmas, b) saving up money for a new sofa set, c) not fucking bothered at all. I am in none of the above. I ushered in 2010 by helping to sell bowls of Nyonya Laksa (the picture will make you want a bowl right this instant, I guarantee it) and being with the family. It was great, mom was very happy and so was I. Next year, though, I'm thinking of something else...

So far, it's been a quiet start to the year. After all, my year will only start on the 4th of January, the day I begin my new route on my journey to become filthy rich. The days prior to it I will be helping out with the household chores and catching up on my reading.

Since you people are most interested in my resolutions, I won't make the wait any more painful that it is, so, take this!

1. Make 2010 better than 2009.
2. Save money so that I can have more vacations.
3. Drive at 80-90 km/h as it'll save petrol == save money. So I can have more vacations.
4. Go up in rank. Or, at the very least, get a pay raise (I prefer pay raise, though, because I want to have more vacations).
5. Attend another concert, preferably here and not in Singapore.
6. Be kinder to children. But if they insist on being asinine even when I've given them ample warning, I will throw them a beat down.
7. Be kinder to old people. However, if they act like righteous SOBs then a can of whoop ass will and truly be unleashed upon their sorry arses. (Bill, you're one of them oldies but will I be kinder? Lets see how it goes...)
   
8. Learn to do my workouts in 45-minutes bursts, with little to no rest in between sets so that I can be in and out of the gym in a jiffy.
   
9. Spend less on unnecessary things i.e. junk food, fast food, etc. (Take that Akka, Bill and RM!)
10. Get a smartphone so that I can do all that touchscreen thingamajig.
    

There you have it! It was only five resolutions at first but I'm being generous so I came up with another five. It's just finished raining and you know what this means: D

Damn nice to sleep now!

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: There's an 11th resolution but it's dedicated to one special girl in my life. She knows what it is.

2 more years to disaster. Nah!

In the movie, 2012, the world ends. If yes, then I will look back at 2009* fondly.

2009 has been an up-and-down year. Thankfully, it's mostly been ups. The beginning was rough, I tell no lie as work was filled with one terrible story after another. I was going to work dreading the hours, the day, then the week, then week after that. The stress was explicit and implicit; when I didn't bitch about it, it would simmer within. I wasn't alone in the malaise of Work Hell, thank goodness, but each of the sufferers had their own form of purgatory. But the best thing to come out of that was the solidification of friendships. Yes, more than one happened. In a strange twist of fate, a special friendship was formed out of turmoil. I take nothing away from it apart from a lasting bond between me and one Akka.

As the months went by, so did my colleagues. One by one, the good people from my team managed to procure themselves newer and much greener pastures elsewhere. Whilst I was happy for them, I felt sad as I didn't know when my nightmare would end. But I kept telling myself that my time would come and then the call came. The call that would change my life. Unfortunately, that call would have changed life if it weren't for the intervention of a former colleague whom I thought was a friend. I cursed him, thinking my ticket out had disappeared and that I had to face my doom.

But Fate had something else in mind...

Before I go on, I would like to regale you with another story. It was the beginning of the month of August. We were all excited as finally the long-awaited teambuilding escapade to the island of Perhentian was drawing near. The break from work was much needed and the best part about it was the fact that I got to spend it with my colleagues who I know wouldn't spend it with me if it was to be borne by ourselves. One of the nights, the full moon was shining at its brightest. The sea was gently beating in the background while the air was crisp and warm on the face. That night shall forever be etched in memory as it was the night of magick.

I met the one.

When the hullabaloo of me not getting what was thought as "sure get the job one!", and when everything cooled down, I still sent out my CV in the hopes of securing myself a way out. I was either well below qualified or too qualified. Frustrating, but I kept on going. The last interview I went, I thought, this is it, if I don't get this I'm going to stop for the time being. Though, you know what they say: save the best for last. I managed to convince the boss that I was the right person and voila! I'm now awaiting for the 4th of January next year to start my new job.

Happy times are abound!

Of course, if I were to put in everything that transpired in 2009, this post would be 10000 pages! I'm just glad to say that the last four months have been blessed. I can't think of a better way to say goodbye to the year than with having wonderful memories. As the year draws to a close, I am reminded of all the good things that have happened and what will happen.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: No special resolutions for 2010 because I've accomplished what I've wanted in the last two years.

* - Duh! I have yet to go through 2010 and 2011!

Goodbye and thanks for the chicken.

Goodbye* can be a sad or happy thing. Most of the time it's just a normal thing. "Hey, take care and goodbye!" That sort of normal thing. But this time, it's a sad and happy thing.

After 2 years and 2ish months, my journey with my current employers will come full circle this Wednesday. Leaving a company where you got your teeth cut is never going to be easy, especially if you've made a connection with the people. No matter how crazy things had happened, you'd still feel a sting in your heart when your time to leave is approaching. It's very much your first love that wasn't to be; you'll never forget it and you'll never feel any bad feelings towards it.

Without this company, I wouldn't be the person I am now and will be. Aside from gaining the work experience I need so badly for my career, I've learnt a lot about dealing with people of all types (the bad ones have helped thicken my skin but it's still surprisingly smooth). Confidence and belief are at an all-time high, thanks to the working conditions and what transpired during my stint. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so goes the saying but thankfully no-one wanted to do that.

I think.

So here comes the thank you list: I would like to thank the management (SH and Janhot), for hiring me in the first place, my team (you know who you are!) for helping me to develop my career. Special thanks and eternal gratitude go out to these beautiful people: Bill, you're such a fucking asshole but you're an absolute riot, thanks for being the older brother I wished I never had. Badul, you and I have a lot of things in common, so much so it scares me and while you act like a right dickhead, you're just a big goofy oaf. Akka, thanks for everything, I have no idea why or how you've become part of me but I'm glad I'm part of you. Since I'm not that kind of person but I will be this time: thank you, my dear RM. You've made me happy and hopefully we'll be together through thick and thin and in between. I will cherish what this company has given me and you're the best.

I guess this is it. I won't lie and say I don't feel sad writing this. The memories are starting to flood in my thoughts and it's not easy to not remember the good times. I will truly miss this place and its people but the time to move has come. I can only wish that the new place will have people half as good.

If any of you people are reading this, don't forget me. I know won't forget you.

This is Chris, signing off.

* - Or is it good bye? No-one says badbye or bad bye, right**?
** - Psst, I do.

Who would've thought?

Friends. Who needs them?

If you're a loner then the above statement might just pique you. But you (yes, YOU) know me, I am gregarious lad who loves nothing more than to chill-out with his friends (at cheap establishments, no less!).

This story is 7 years in the making. It all started in college; I was then a quiet, fat tub who spoke to no one and thought he would be the class loner. But Fate had a funny card to deal...

As the days went by, I started to mix around with anyone who would talk to me, be it about college work, computer games or whatever that came to mind (i.e. crap) and just being usual self. Of course, as with any place I am at, I would meet characters of all sorts. It seems that all the TV shows are true, you will always find the arrogant one, the goody two-shoes one, the boisterous one, the know-it-all one, the darn-right idiotic one, and of course, the one that everyone hates. I was the class clown and joke maker (I had two positions in the class!), so this made the one that everyone hates to dislike me!

I remember vividly the first time I saw him: he had big headphones, had his hair spiked to the heavens, and holy crap of cows, he was a skinny fucker! He was also loud, kind of abrasive, but that came from him being very opinionated and meticulous. It also didn't help that he had all the latest gadgets that I wanted badly but could never afford.

He and I never got along in the beginning. We had this animosity where the mere presence of each other would send us in the angry zone. We never meant any harm to each other but neither did we mean good. Yet, somehow, we began to talk to each other, work together even. After some time, the animosity disappeared completely. In its place, a friendship bloomed (sounds pretty gay, I know, but I'm telling it as it is so bear with me.) and now we're best mates for life. We may not agree on a few things but we always try to understand each other. Also, we share a lot of personal things, stuff only we can relate to and feel extremely comfortable telling each other our history and feelings.

As I write this, he's now in the state of California, probably sipping on fine wine. Or knowing him, a cold glass of beer, designing the next big thing.

This post is for you, Irwin. Please don't forget me when you've made it to the top. I'll send you my wedding invitation and I don't give a fuck if you're supposed to be designing for the Queen of England, you're coming, damnit!

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I am not getting married anytime soon. I repeat: I am NOT getting married anytime soon.

PPS: Maybe next year.

I can't seem to finish my sen...

The writer's block has afflicted me greatly.

Will update this blog when the block has been lifted. Till then, stay beautiful.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Next post will be about what happened in the last 12 months so stay tuned. It'll be worth it.

I hope.

I wouldn't mind having buttguns!

Last Saturday was a movie marathon so here's a quick and dirty movie update (cos I don't have anything constructive to blog about):

Ninja Assassin

By jove, Rain is superb. I can't believe I just said that. Really, the rather unhandsome one (ya, ya, he's good-looking and tall and cute and whatnot but his long hair makes him pretty in this so get off your high horse, k?) delivers an adroit if not smart-alecky performance as he says lines drier than an undried bacalao that's a 100-years-old. Storyline is a no-brainer; you go in, have a good time and try not to squirm every time a body part gets severed from its owner, blood gloriously splattered all over the place. And, ladies, yes, he does have a killer body.

You may now scream in delight.

Astro Boy

I went in the theatre hoping that it'll be good (because I didn't want to watch that* movie) as I have never watched the cartoon. Thankfully, I was pleasantly entertained. There are a few gripes, though, chiefly Nicolas "I'm an overly paid actor because I look mopey" Cage whose soporific voice did not convey the sense of loss and hope of Dr. Tenma. There was also a lack of urgency, especially later in the movie when Astro Boy had to battle the evil President Stone. But then again, watching Ninja Assassin before this does make you somewhat bloodthirsty.

A Christmas Carol

Let it be known that apart from the first Ace Ventura and The Mask, I have not enjoyed another Jim Carrey movie. Yes, I enjoyed the movie only because of the story as well as the phenomenal graphics. Carrey was surprisingly good while the supporting cast were not short on talent, too. Speaking of the graphics, golly, the detail on every single object is just mindblowing. And to add to its near-realism, some of the character design and sequences actually, GASP!!!, made me startled like a little boy accidentally seeing his grandparents kissing after a game of Solitaire (huh???).

Three movies in a day, wow, that's a record! Have a productive week ahead, folks!

I know I won't!

This is Chris, singing off.

PS: I love my

* = New Moon, pfft!!!

Don't you be cheatin', yeah.

When I was a wee lad, I used to love toys. Gundam, Transformers, Smurfs* and Dragonball were some of the stuff I wanted so badly but I could never have them because a) I was poor b) Dad hated buying toys for me. So whilst I saw my friends and cousins getting the newest toys, I had to put up with books that were tattered and were dog-eared so badly even my own ears turned upside down just by looking at them.

There was a time when I was no more than 6-years-old at Yaohan's (renamed The Mall or whatever it's called now) toy section, looking at all the nice toys and wishing I owned 3/4 of them (the other 1/4 was Barbie dolls and there's no way in Hell I want any of it). I was scurrying from aisle to another when I came across this mousy man of about 40. He was looking from left to right in the manner of someone about to do something bad. In his hands I saw him clutching a Transformers toy, and a moment later he ripped the back and quickly put the toy into his plastic bag. I stood there dumbfounded. There was only one thing on mind:

Why didn't my Dad do the same?

All right, all right, tasteless and unfunny joke aside, what would drive a man to steal a toy worth 20 bucks for his son? You could say that the father just wanted to please his son but to do it in that manner, well, that's just plain wrong. But since the son would never know this, surely this all right?

Right?

The debacle of last week comes courtesy of Thierry Henry's Hand of God act against the Republic of Ireland. Now, he's come clean after admitting that he did for a fact used his hands to control the ball (very beautifully if I may say so) and then deliver it to his mate who promptly used his head to score the crucial winning goal. FIFA (sort of the world football's police minus the guns and uniforms) has thus far rejected all forms of protests, no matter how polite or vehement they were, and calls for a rematch. Yet, FIFA is the same organisation that wants to be the paragon of sincerity and honesty but has remained noncommittal over this fiasco. Henry himself has called for the rematch to be taken place but FIFA doesn't want to because it is afraid people are going to think of them badly.

Well, it's too late. We all think you fucking suck, FIFA.

What Henry did is inexcusable, we all know that. He's a legend but this will surely sully his legacy somewhat. Nonetheless, I do commend him for coming out, admitting his deception and his pleas that the right be done. But since FIFA are a bunch of old men who are worried about their red cheeks turning redder in embarrassment then the truth and justice are denied their rights.

If you think deceiving a child is bad, what about FIFA? They're cheating football, a whole nation and what it means to do the right thing.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I wonder if cheating is hereditary and the son is now doing the same for his own child now? Scary thought, eh?

* = My cousins thought they represented Satanism. Yes, they are bloody dumb.

Ah, yes. I'm back!

How has everyone been?

Great, I hope. Last weekend was an absolute blast. The much-needed holiday in Singapore came and brought immense relief to me and my friends. The two weeks prior to it were incredibly stressful; so much work needed to be done before I felt the holiday spirit rising in me. But when we touched down at Changi airport did I feel finally at peace. Four days without checking emails and answering various idiotic questions from idiotic users was afoot!

With every visit, I grow to like the island more and more. I've always maintained that I would love to work there someday, for a few years even. I don't know why exactly but whilst the pace on the island is so a lot faster than back here I feel as though I am at ease, that I don't need to rush to get to somewhere. Even when we got lost in some remote part of the city at 8pm (the bicycles were everywhere!!!) I didn't feel like we were going to end up in the newspapers: 3 Malaysians and a Filipina, lost in the wilderness that is Marina Bay, amid a million bicycles. I dare not walk outside my house after 8pm. That's how safe I felt.

I won't get into the boring details of the holiday as nothing out of the ordinary happened. Funnily enough, it was the guys who came back with the most stuff as our respective partners were wonderful and patient in waiting for us and tolerating our inanities. On behalf of my friend and myself, Terima Kasih and Salamat to the girls who made this trip a whole lot more special.

And, now, I shall leave you with this nugget of a video. He may be wooden as a brick in the Potter films but, by jove, does he impress me with this cameo. Enjoy!!!

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: Same time, next year, guys and gals?

Time out!

Folks, by the time many of you read this I'll be in a land far-away than mine.

Well, it's a far-away land if you consider a 45-minute plane ride, urm, a far-away one.

Take care and as usual do not fret as I'll be back next week to post yet another illuminating diatribe on why Singaporean food sucks.

You know you can't wait for it.

This is Chris, signing off.

PS: I'm super duper excited!